The 5 Levels of B!tćhÿ Resting Face

Lately, I feel like the b!tchy resting face is all the rage on the internet. 

I guess I didn't even realize it was a thing...I think I'm probably a 3...people always ask me "what's wrong?"

But I don't think it's just one face...not every b face is the same. 

I think there are levels of intensity.

And you might be the nicest person but have the meanest face...it's just the way God made ya.

But it can get annoying always being asked what's wrong..cause nothing is wrong.

Level 1: Miss Happy Pants

The only reason you made this list is because you have a face.

You might look upset if someone told you Christmas isn't the most wonderful time or April 25th isn't the perfect date. 

You're like Cheryl...do you see her mean mugging?

Oh heck no. 

You're happy all the time. Or at least look like it.

One time I saw this girl on campus, and she was just walking alone.

I don't know if she was just so extremely happy or was forcibly making herself smile.

Either way, an ear to ear grin.

So even when she's resting, there wasn't no b word face going on.

Level 2: Blank Stare

The lights are on but it's questionable if anyone is home.

This can be intimidating because people can't really tell what you're thinking?

Happy? Sad? Mad? Excited?

You also might have the same expression for any of those feelings.

Like:

You're just hard to read. 

But maybe that's a good thing.

People also might mistake you for an airhead, but we know that's not true.

Level 3: Da Sad Face

I think this is where I fit in.

I started talking to this kid after he asked me what was wrong and that I didn't need to be sad on the bus. 

No, nothing is wrong. I guess I just have a sad face. 

I think I have a very youthful face/features, so maybe that has to do with it?

I don't know. I think the best response is: 

"My dog Nike just died. He wasn't just a dog!"

Level 4: The Usual Resting B Face

This is the face that has made worldwide headlines.

This is the face that has been coined the resting bitchy face.

This is the "mean mug."

You look mad...I think this level actually has different severities.

Some people's look "stuck up", some look "mad", "disgusted" and some just look scary mean.

I can think of one girl who honestly scares me by her resting face...she's nice, but she's intimidating.

I think of this as disgusted:

But she could be tickled pink.

People also might think you look like an ice queen. But that's bad on their part, not yours.

What's worse...preconceived notions or a face?

Level 5: You're just a...

you know...similar to one, this number exists simply because you have a face.

You have a b face, because you are a b.

Can't hide what you know.

You need to downgrade to a level 4...then it's just your face and not your personality.

There still is hope for you...someday maybe you won't be one and just have a face like one.

Maybe you need to join lacrosse...it worked for Regina George.

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Now assess the options and place yourself.

If you're a 1: Good for you. Just thinking about you makes me want to eat cotton candy and dream of lollipops and gumdrops.

If you're a 2: Maybe just spice up your face a little bit. It'll really throw people for a loop.

If you're a 3: I feel your pain. Either try to make your face more happy? or really take it to the next level, and whenever anyone asks you, burst into tears. I bet they won't ever ask again.

If you're a 4: Feel proud you fit the typical mold of the resting bitch face. Wave your flag high.

If you're a 5: Change your sass, giiiirl.

As long as you're not a 5, don't ever feel the need to explain your face.

You don't have to explain why the sky is blue, why you like pizza, so you shouldn't have to apologize for your God given face.

So....